Samstag, Juli 15, 2006

Immisionsschutz-Man, wo bist Du?

Heute ist Trubel in der Freien und Hansestadt. Robbie spielt, morgen kommen wieder hunderttausende, um das große Schiffchen zu gucken und zu alledem sind auch noch Harley-Tage. Wenn man auf große Events steht, ist es vermutlich der beste Tage, um Hamburg zu besuchen.



Ich stehe nicht so sehr auf große Ereignisse, noch weniger stehe ich auf Lärm. Auf markerschütternden, unausweichbaren und vollkommen unnötigen Lärm. Zum Beispiel die Art Lärm, wie er von tausenden schwerer Motorräder gemacht wird, die rund um den Hafen unterwegs sind, wenn ich mir vorgenommen habe, mal wieder einen Blick auf die neueren Entwicklungen der HafenCity zu werfen.



Ehrlich: Es gibt kaum Dinge, die mich richtig zornig machen -- aber Motorräder gehören dazu. Ungerecht, pauschalisiert, alles richtige Einwände -- doch ist mir bislang noch kein Motorradfahrer untergekommen, der mir stolz erzählt hat, dass er sein Moped extra leise aufgemotzt hat.



Wenn so ein Geschoss mit geschätzten 110db an mir vorbeiknattert, bekomme ich richtige Gewaltfantasien. Einfach mal so jemanden von seiner Karre herunterschießen. Nicht tödlich, nur ins Schienbein oder so. Oder, etwas weniger martialisch (wenn ich einen guten Tag habe), einfach mal einem Harley-Fahrer einen Pressluft-Bohrer ins Wohnzimmer stellen und schauen, ob ihm das etwas ausmacht. Wenn er sich dann beschwert, wird noch ein wenig lauter gedreht und ich erzähle ihm mit einem Ausgenzwinkern etwas von "herrlich bullerndem Sound des Pressluftbohrers, das gehört schließlich so".



Lärm ist Umweltverschmutzung und daher auf ein Minimum zu reduzieren. Da bin ich ein nahezu stalinistischer Dogmatiker.

Kommentare:

Katherine, biker babe ;-) hat gesagt…

Ala, I'm afraid this could be the end of what could have been a wonderful friendship: you have no soul.
a) The average motorbike travelling at city speed creates c. 90 dB.
b ) I do not ride a motorbike because it sounds nice, I ride one because it is a feeling you cannot recreate any other way (and as my father told me in my young years, and for whom I blame the fascination in the first place, there's nothing quite like the feeling of something hot and throbbing between your legs).
c) There is a reason why most bikers ride with earplugs in on long rides: it's a lot noisier to be sitting on the bike for a long period than to be the pedestrian we pass for just a few seconds. Noise is tiring and annoying. We pay a lot of extra money for helmets that cut down the noise.
So, what do we conclude from this? You do not necessarily have an aversion to motorbikes, you do have an aversion to the occassional w@nker who thinks his testicles automatically enlarge in proportion with the dB of his toy (Harleys aren't real bikes after all - they're a fashion statement made by over-the-hill bankers panicking about their first few grey hairs). These people give the rest of us a bad name. They are thankfully in the minority.
I will close now, as I need to be up in the morning to catch the rising sun over lake Zurich from the seat of my Suzuki . . .

Oh, and PS: Go Robbie!! 24th August in Bern. Oh yes, we Williamses stick together!

hajo hat gesagt…

@katherine:

Convincing arguments but it's much easier than words: Just offer Alexander a ride! Used to work with me as I was annoyed quite the same from bikes. Just until a friend of mine came up with a 1400cc Intruder. (A chopper bike for the ones that don't know.) So I climbed up and we rode around "places to be seen" and I deeply enjoyed the dark sound of the machine (and the looks of the people on the sidewalk :-).
So, Alexander, when will you go and feel for yourself? Maybe katherine's in town the other day ...

Georg hat gesagt…

@hajo

Should Alexander go for a ride with Katherine, I would have to cut his testicles off, I'm afraid. In addition, I'm sure I would feel the urge to throw them in front of Katherine's Suzuki Intruder so that I can run over them. Repeatedly.

:-)

Alexander hat gesagt…

Finally! Controversy! Yeah!

@Hajo: May I introduce my friend Georg and his girlfriend Katherine? :-)

@Katherine: Thanks for your comment. Despite what you might think, I do have a soul. Actually, one that is easily harmed by unnecessary noise.

ad a) The Harleys I mentioned in the original post were definitely doing more than city speed. Let's not argue about db, it was frickin' loud.

ad b) I will not make any comments about hot, throbbing things between your legs as I don't want to risk my testicles.

ad c) OK, we're getting there: I wholheartedly agree with the wanker bit and the Harleys. By the looks of those people there must be a lot of bankers whose careers have gone steeply downhill.

Let me refine my criticism: By all means, make as much noise as you please on long stretches of open road in the countryside where no passers-by are subjected to you need o' speed. Find a couple of kilometres of Autobahn or Bundesstraße and have it your way.

What I don't still don't understand is the recklessness that some of your fellow bikers show by accellerating to 100 km/h in under 3 seconds in the city just to make sure that they're the first at the next red light. This, of course, is accompanied by a dreadful amount of noise.

Still, pimping your motorbike to make even more noise is insane. Though I agree that it's not necessarily bikers who do that. There's a fair share of idiot motorists who pimp their cars to make as much noise as possible.

OK, can I please have my soul back?